Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Review (4) - Two Hearts In Two Weeks - Kat Pockyesh

Title: Two Hearts In Two Weeks
Author: Kat Pockyesh
Genie Reviewer: Scorpio

Story Title: 3/5
I wouldn’t like stories that gives away hints about the story plot. As for your title, I can tell that the plot is something about the main character winning the hearts of two guys in two weeks time. I would prefer story titles that does not give away much and instead keeps the reader interested in knowing what is going on in the story, i.e. how is the title linked to the story. For example, a story titled ‘Victory’ which means winning something, but does not say what does the characters win, and the readers would have to read the story to find out.

Appearance (Does it look eye catching): 9/10
I like your effort in placing a new picture for every chapter. Your background is awesome too, it could match with all the photos that you put. Keep it up. However in Chapter 6, your photo is slightly bigger than the rest and so it isn’t standardized, so keep your photos in suitable size that could be neat when placed in your story.

Forewords/Introduction: 9/10
Your forewords is fine, the summary is in paragraph mode and I like it that way as it looks neater instead of in point form which is not recommended. (You don’t see storybooks do point form, right?) However, you revealed the pairing of the story in the forewords and hence readers will know what to expect and your climax of the story isn’t really that exciting anymore.

Plot: 15/20
The story is interesting, however, it isn’t very realistic that a normal girl in school could get to know and date celebrities, right? And still, she could not even recognize them. As SHINee is a very popular band, you would be able to see many advertisements and posters especially in their home country, yet she still wasn’t able to realize that even after so long. Furthermore, how could a celebrity go to a normal high school, and go out peacefully without fans stalking them or following them everywhere?

Characterization: 10/10
As I am not into Korean pop, I am neutral about the characters you use. It is good that you give your original character a name because there are some authors that leave a blank there instead and it is messy and hard to read.

Creativity/Originality: 3/5
Your story is okay, but I have seen similar types of stories. The storyline is still original, so don’t worry about that.

Spelling/Vocabulary/Grammar/Punctuations: 8/10
Chapter 11: “I think it’s nice, too,” the comma is redundant, it should be “I think it’s nice too,” and “She though” should be “She thought”.
Grammar is fine, no errors as far as I checked.

Flow (Does it all go together): 10/10
Your flow of the story is fine so far, do keep it up. Don’t skip parts of the story where it is important for the plot, otherwise readers will get lost.

Writing Style: 13/15
Your writing style is good, but I took away the marks because I’ve actually seen better ones. But yours is already good enough, so its fine with me.

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
Yes, I’ve enjoyed the story so far and I’m interested to read on. Do update it soon!
 
Total: 85/100

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