Story Title: 4/5
It’s a good story title, however I think it gives away a little bit of the story. The reader would be able to guess that the story involves someone coming back from somewhere or something like that. I would personally prefer story titles that does not give away much and instead keeps the reader interested in knowing what is going on in the story, i.e. how is the title linked to the story. For example, a story titled ‘Victory’ which means winning something, but does not say what does the characters win, and the readers would have to read the story to find out. But since yours did not give away much unlike many others, hence the score.
Appearance (Does it look eye catching): 8/10
Your poster is pretty nice, I like it. But your background is the same colour as the poster, and the poster is also in the background, which is kind of boring to me. I don’t expect colour contrast, I would prefer a background that is of another light colour and matches the poster colour, that would be fine.
Forewords/Introduction: 7/10
Your forewords is not too bad, however, I think it could be improved. I like it that you did not give away the characters’ personalities. You stated a few points on each of them briefly in point form, but I think you could have written them in a paragraph, I think it would look nicer that way. I personally do not like character introduction too, I would like forewords that gives a hint on what is coming up in the story and keeps the readers interested.
Plot: 18/20
I like your story as it had a twist near the end. In the beginning, I thought that the female lead will end up with her childhood friend, Howon. Instead, she ended up falling in love with his band mate, Sung Yeol, although her love for Howon had lasted 5 years, which wasn’t what I had expected. I hardly see these kind of stories nowadays that gives unexpected endings, so good job on that.
Characterization: 10/10
Its fine by me, I’m not really into Korean pop so I’m kind of neutral on the characters you use. Its good that you give the reader a name instead of leaving a blank like what some other authors do.
Creativity/Originality: 3/5
As mentioned above, I hardly find stories with twists, so originality is there. Although I like your story, I would say that it is not very realistic as normal people like you and I would be near impossible to be together with a celebrity. Our best friends aren’t celebrities either. And also, another typical love triangle that involves three people.
Spelling/Vocabulary/Grammar/Punctuations: 7/10
Chapter 1: ‘relay’ should be ‘rely’.
“You guess? You know what I think, I think you miss him” There is supposed to be a comma before you close the dialogue. “You guess? You know what I think, I think you miss him,” This isn’t the only one, you seem to be doing it for all except those with question marks and exclamation marks.
‘my words stuck in my throat’ its supposed to be ‘my words got stuck in my throat’.
Do remember to check your chapters for spelling errors before you post them.
Flow (Does it all go together): 10/10
The flow of the story is fine. Keep it up.
Writing Style: 14/15
Your writing style is good too, keep it up. I took away one mark because actually, I’ve seen better, but yours is already quite good, so its fine. I’m glad you didn’t write in script format because it turns me off.
Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
I really enjoyed this story, so thank you! Hope you could write more in the future! Keep up with the good work!
Total: 86/100
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